When you are faced with an upset resident, there are two possible paths you can take: The situation can escalate and get out of control, or you can de-escalate it and find a mutually satisfactory solution.
All property managers would prefer the latter but getting there can sometimes feel overwhelming.
In the first part of this three-part series, we explained how to de-escalate an upset resident over the phone, and the second part covered the best methods you can use to defuse and resolve a conflict in your office. When you have an upset resident, meeting in your office is usually the best choice, but you may need to occasionally have these meetings at your resident’s homes. Here are the best ways you can keep everyone safe and calm in these situations.
Review the First Two Parts in this Series
From sample phrases to personal mental health tips, the first two parts in our de-escalation series offer numerous actionable ways that you can improve the verbal discussion and negotiation portions of this interaction.
Gather Information Before the Meeting
Collect any relevant background information on the resident or their needs before your meeting. This will help you prepare solutions in advance and might indicate whether your resident has a history of unreasonable or dangerous behavior.
Share Your Plans and Ask for Help
Always ensure that someone on your team knows your schedule for the day, from your office staff to maintenance workers who may be on-site. If you have a security team and concerns about an interaction, you can always have them join you for a meeting - sometimes the presence of a third person can help keep everyone calm. (In my experience, this does not add to the calm, maybe have someone in the office working on something else nearby) You can even ask anyone on your team to check in with you at a designated time, and if you don’t reply or return, they will know how to locate you.
Also, share with the resident that you have another appointment that begins one hour from now: This will indicate that your job is important to you, and that time during your meeting should be used productively.
Be Mindful of Personal and Physical Space
Whenever possible, stand at least six feet away from a resident who is escalating. Allowing personal space can decrease anxiety and helps everyone remain calm. It is also a good COVID protocol if the issue is brought up, most everyone will understand.
In addition, pay attention to the physical space you are in. Avoid going into tight or hard-to-exit spaces like basements and small rooms. Open the door to a room or property and allow your residents to go first as you follow them behind. If you have cameras or other surveillance equipment in the building, consider having your discussions in an area that has good coverage.
Take A Few Simple Safety Precautions
Don’t make a tough situation worse due to poor planning. Here are five quick ways you can increase your personal safety while visiting a resident at home:
● Don’t park in the driveway or any other area you can be blocked in
● Always keep your car keys and cell phone with you
● Make sure your cell phone is fully charged before the meeting
● Lock your bags, purse, laptop, or anything else you don’t need in the trunk of your car
● Wear flat shoes, and a name badge or other required identification
Set Limits and Explain Them in Simple Terms
When a resident is upset, it’s important to offer them respectful, simple, and reasonable limits. Give them straightforward choices, and consequences for each choice. An agitated resident may not be very focused, so it’s important to be clear, speak simply, and offer the most positive choice first.
Offer Time for Decision Making
As we just mentioned, a resident in an escalated situation may not be thinking clearly in the moment. Whenever you can, give them time to decide, whether it is a few moments or overnight. Feeling rushed can increase their stress and anxiety and offering time can help them feel much calmer.
Follow All Laws and Document Your Interaction
Before you go into a potentially difficult situation, make sure you know the rights and responsibilities of both your resident and your company as delineated by the lease, bylaws, and laws in your area. Ensure that all issues are resolved legally, without any workarounds or other illegal actions. After the meeting, make sure that you get confirmation in writing, whether it is via a follow up email, or a signed summary or agreement document.
Dealing with upset residents can be intimidating and upsetting even to seasoned professionals.
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