Home is a special place where you should feel calm, secure and relaxed. We depend on our homes in many ways, so it’s easy to see why your residents can become upset when they are faced with issues. Regardless of how or what the issues are, your goal in these types of situations should always be to get the situation to a calm, productive place.
In the first part of this series, we explained how to de-escalate an upset resident over the phone. Today, we will be sharing the best methods you can use to defuse and resolve a situation in your office.
One: Respect personal space
When you communicate in-person, you need to be aware of your body language. Consider your position, posture, and proximity when dealing with an angry resident. Try to make things as comfortable and equal as possible. One good way to put this into practice is to consider sitting versus standing:
If you are seated behind a desk, offer them a seat. Sitting together as equals at a small conversation table is the best choice, as it is more intimate than talking over a desk. If they refuse to sit, make sure you stand as well.
Two: Keep your “lizard brain” in check
Your lizard brain, also known as the limbic system, is in charge of the most primitive functions of your brain. It sets off your fight, flight, or freeze responses. It’s powerful and can drive inappropriate, unprofessional responses if you don’t keep it in check. You can’t control what happens, but you can control how you respond to it. Repeating positive thoughts like “I can handle this” will help you remain calm so you can then help others.
Three: Observe and repeat the facts
As you begin to understand your resident’s problem, repeat back your understanding to them. As we mentioned in the first part of this series, this is a great way to show that you are listening and have empathy for the resident’s situation.
Four: Confirm their feelings
Once you’ve reiterated the facts, quickly make a compassionate guess on what your resident is feeling. For example, “are you feeling angry because you feel that our response time has been slow?” Whether the resident confirms or contradicts that feeling will give you an idea of how to resolve the issue.
Five: Ignore challenges, but not the person
If a resident has difficult demands such as an immediate need to talk with the owner, redirect the residents attention to the issue at hand and how it can be resolved. It’s important that you show your ability to solve their problems: If you allow them to challenge your authority, you may lose the respect you need for future challenges with this resident and others.
Six: Set limits and plan your exits
If the resident starts to become threatening in their verbal or body language, respectfully cut off the interaction by offering them time. An example would be to ask the resident if you can research the issue and call them back with a response. If they agree, start walking towards the door as you tell them exactly when you will get back to them. Thank them for bringing it to your attention, using the word regret rather than sorry: “I regret that this issue is happening, and I will do what I can to resolve this as soon as I can.”
Seven: Make a request
Closing out your interaction by requesting something from the resident can help them feel more like a respected partner in the problem-solving process: “I regret this issue is happening, and I will do what I can to resolve this as soon as I can. How does this sound to you?”
Having an upset resident in your office can be stressful for even the most
seasoned property manager. If you focus on being thoughtful,
prepared and supportive (and seek support for yourself),
you will be successful at moving from escalation to de-escalation.
You don’t have to fix everything at once to have a successful interaction:
The goal isn’t correction, it’s connection.
Share On: