7 Tips To De-escalate Angry Residents Over The Phone
One of the best things about property management is the opportunity for human connection. Providing a safe, pleasant home life to those who appreciate your efforts can be incredibly enjoyable and affirming. Unfortunately, many of the toughest situations that property managers are faced with also involve human behavior, such as dealing with upset and even angry residents.
When you are dealing with an angry resident, your first priority should always be to de-escalate the situation. De-escalation is a set of techniques and behaviors that are used to keep a situation from getting worse, and move it towards conflict resolution.
At Loyear Restoration<https://www.loyearrestoration.com/>, we often help people through some of the scariest and most difficult situations they will ever encounter. In the first of this three part series, we will share seven experience-based tips for verbally de-escalating an angry resident over the phone.
One: Show Empathy
Showing empathy may sound like you need to agree with your resident's complaint, but it’s actually about showing that you're listening to what they have to say. Feeling heard and understood can quickly calm them and will result in an easier conversation. If you are struggling to summon empathy, one easy way to put this tip into action is to verbally repeat back what the resident is telling you in your own words. This gives them the chance to feel heard, and correct any misunderstandings. Empathy is about showing that you understand their frustrations, even if you can’t control the cause of their frustration.
Two: Make Requests, Not Demands
Requests are specific, objective, and actionable, while demands use fear, guilt, and can be manipulative. Knowing the difference can help your phone conversations stay more relaxed. Here’s an example of a request and a demand that cover the same issue:
Request: “Would you be willing to hear the reasons why we need our maintenance team to handle these repairs?”
Demand: “If you don’t let the maintenance team in for those repairs, we’re getting you out of here - you are ruining the whole building for everyone.”
Three: Keep Things Positive
Always look for the most positive way to discuss issues with your residents. Put positivity into practice on phone calls by avoiding the use of negative words, like no, won’t, don’t, and can’t. Instead, tell your resident what you can do for them, and offer suggestions for solutions they can try themselves.
Four: Name and Tame the Behavior
Often, the escalating factors in a situation have nothing to do with the topic of discussion. If you can point out and curtail those factors, the situation will become calmer. Examples include asking a resident to lower their voice, stop cursing, or to take a pause to allow you to respond. If a resident refuses to stop cursing or exhibiting other verbally abusive behavior, it may be right to let them know you are ending the current call and then do so.
Five: Be A Broken Record
If many of the other techniques above have failed, you can sometimes decrease the anger in a situation by repeating the same phrase over and over again. For example: “I can let you add a second garage space after you pay the second space fee.”
Six: Follow Up and Document
After the difficult conversation is over, check in with your resident. Showing that you care about the resolution of their needs can lead to a stronger relationship with fewer stressful interactions in the future. In addition, document the results of the interaction. Agreements are good outcomes from a difficult conversation. Make sure any agreements or next steps are documented for your records and shared with the resident as well.
Seven: Take A Moment For Yourself
What you do during the phone call is important, but what you do after is also critical. Don’t pass workplace stress or anger on to anyone else - including yourself. It’s important to take care of yourself: Talk it out with a colleague, take a break, or even just a few deep breaths before moving on.
De-escalating a situation isn’t about proving that you are right, or proving the other person wrong:
The goal should always be to decrease the tension and anxiety in the situation,
and get to a place of productive problem solving.
We hope that these seven tips can help you keep the peace and reconnect with the enjoyable parts of property management. Watch for the next two parts in this series: How to de-escalate an angry resident in your office, and how to de-escalate an angry resident in their home.
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